Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire – A Review

[Editor’s Note: Spoiler rich, as per usual]

This was bound to happen.

Despite how much I fucking hated Afterlife, it made enough money to warrant a sequel. Yet again, I was on the wrong side of history.

The trailer came out and I was highly whelmed.

My biggest takeaway was at least it wasn’t Gozer or Vigo…. hopefully. New villain…Ill take new villain.

To say I didn’t expect much was an understatement. Jason Reitman seems intent on just completely brutalizing his dad’s legacy, and getting the guy who directed the Poltergeist remake wasn’t going to help matters.

.I went into it expecting less than nothing.

And I got that, in the weirdest fucking way possible.

not good

Ok lets start with what is good here. Art design is not bad. Instead of filming in the firehouse in LA (where the interiors previously were shot), they just rebuilt the whole fucker on a soundstage…and they did a real good job with it.

The big bad actually looks good and has itself a decent little backstory. Ice God from back in the day pissed at the world. I’m fine with it.

Ernie Hudson actually showed up and did some ACTING.

Alright, thats all the praise. Lets get to the shit.

This fucking movie feels like 5 movies stuffed into two hours. I actually told a friend of mine it was two hours 45 min… I was SHOCKED when I saw we were at a 2 hour runtime.

I cant tell if the screenwriters were having an argument with each other, or if this was supposed to be a TV show, or what the hell it is. We have Altman level of new characters and sets here. And none of them fully developed. This movie is an overstuffed poboy of mediocre writing, acting and directing. It’s like the pitch was “What if we did Torchwood, Lockwood & Co, an episode of The Real Ghostbusters, and topped that off with like Knight Rider level dialogue.”

Its a mess with no defined direction.

Oh and the fucking score. Why cant they get a different score? Don’t get me wrong, I love Elmer Bernstein’s original Ghostbusters score, but we GOT to be able to do something different. This is the 2nd movie in a row that begins with the same fucking theme hit from the original Ghostbusters movie. Do better.

And also, it really feels like no one but Ernie Hudson and maybe Dan Aykroyd really wanted to be there. We have a lot of low-key, unenergized performances across the board. Like, I am used to Bill Murray not wanting to be there, but one would think Paul Rudd could show up for this one.

The script just cant commit to anything. We have this whole research center they developed but it only shows up in a scene or two. McKenna Grace has a relationship with a ghost but that falls on its face. The family is in a fight with the William Atherton who some how left the EPA and is now the mayor.

Neither the screenwriter or the director could make me care.

The ending feels like an ending to an episode of The Real Ghostbusters. It just ends and stay tuned for next week.

It’s an offering of fucking boring on a plate of why did a buy a theater ticket to see this.

BUT, they didn’t fucking rape the corpse of Harold Ramis this time, so its better than afterlife.

1.5/4 – Boring. Do better. I mean I don’t know if this will make enough money to do anything with it. I would rather just see it go with the time. But something tells me Sony wont let it go. We will see.

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