Amorality the Morality Play – The Dirt – A Review

Over the weekend, Netflix launched their biopic The Dirt, based on the masterpiece autobiography of the same name. Ill start with a point of clarification. I do not like Motley Crue’s music. Just dont care for the generic hair metal sound. Not a fan. 

HOWEVER, I am a big fan of that book. I read it on a recommendation, and it is definitely the The Kid Stays in the Picture of band autobiographies. 

So, how did their movie turn out?… meh…

Lets start with the good stuff. I was originally afraid the movie would shy away from the raunchy stuff. Oh no, it does none of that. You can probably thank director Jeff Tremaine’s background on Jackass. It hits ALL of the big highlights that come up whenever you discuss the book. The movie opens with Tommy’s girlfriend that could squirt across the room. Its got Ozzy snorting ants and drinking his own piss to continue getting drunk. There is a TON of drugs, nudity, and stupidity all throughout this film. They cover all the shitty things the band did in kind of direct detail. 

The actors I think do a fair job playing their parts. I want to give a special shout out to Machine Gun Kelly [Editor’s note: that was a statement I never thought I would write] and Iwan Rheon for their portrails of Tommy Lee and Mick Mars, respectively. They really are the acting core of this band. 

Alright, lets move on to the negative. This movie is shot and edited in the most boring way possible. Thats not to say they dont do some tricks. Characters address the camera ala 24 Hour Party People. There are a few first person sequences. But, narratively, it feels like a boring biopic. Band gets together, they do stupid shit, bad shit happens, they break up, they get back together. Credits. It feels like the most bland way of telling this story. We have seen this kind of biopic a million times before. 

I am not sure if this is Jeff Tremaine’s fault, the scripts fault, or if Netflix doesnt push enough to make their shit less mediocre. Regardless, there are times in the movie that you just want them to get on with it. This is a 2 hour movie, and it feels like it could have been cut down to an hour. 

Some of the non-band acting is just piss poor. I love Pete Davidson, but got damn he is shitty here. The groupies are clearly hired for their looks, so I am not sure why they give them lines of dialogue they have to hit. 

I think the point of the fucked up biopic is to tell fucked up stories. I dont think any of these cats actually learned lessons from living their life this hard, but the movie goes out of its way to make that point. And that makes it even more boring. 

 2.5/4 – If you like the book or are interested in seeing some fucked up shit staged for a movie, go for it. But its kind of bland. Which I guess is not surprising considering Motley Crue’s discography

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