Thoughts from the AMEN Pew #80

Another week down. Lets get in it.

Look with all the news out there, there is one thing I want to clear up right away…and I am going to make a big shit-talkin prediction… a fucking war is not going to bail us out of our current hatred of each other.

Russia done shit the bed. China got super soaker missiles. But, what I feel like the big one out here.

No conservatives, the next fucking civil war is not going to start in Eagle Pass fucking Texas.

Like, you ever been out there? Here is a list of reasons why the next civil war is not starting there

  • Ass end of nowhere
  • The fucking cartels wont let them fuck up the bag
  • No one taking a bullet for hot wheels, jeff landry, de santis, or any of them asshole governors with manhood problems
  • Not actual military grade problem. Who is going to shoot a bullet to defend razer wire for unarmed men looking to use inflation to their advantage to get a job in the US.

The whole thing is fucking stupid, and they are stupid for actually being this St. Angry. Grow up. You want to deal with an “immigration crisis,” go after the companies hiring anyone who doesn’t have their green card.

What’s that? Its easier to wave your dick out at Eagle Pass. Fine then do it, but dont make my dad think any of this shit is real.

Speaking of conservatives being emasculated, it was totally worth Tucker being a fucking traitor and a dipshit just for him to get big timed by Putin in his own interview.

I fucking love it. Fuck that bitch.

My chinese food just got here. Liquor is happening. I got Kermit playing. Shit is fucking awesome.

God this movie better not suck.

I have been salivating over this shit for a minute now. Mannnnnnn I need this to be good. I fuckin hope it is.

I feel like I need to talk about this because its all the fuckin video game world can talk about.

In a year with a million fuckin great video games, 20 million people have chosen to stick their dick in a blender and play a combination of fucking rust and a shitty pokemon game.

Look, far be it from me to yuck someone else’s yum [Editor’s Note: not true, he does that shit all the time], but this is just sad. Riding through a million bugs and shitty design just so you can have your minecraft and pokemon together in one meal.

Its sad.

This is going to be very boomer of me, but I’m gunna do it.

Grow up.

So, I had an interesting observation this week.

My son accidentally peed on his pants at the urinal. Bad enough that he changed into spare clothes I have had in his backpack all year. I asked him if he got made fun of for it, and he goes, “My friends just told me, ‘That happens.”

Thats it. Dogg, I know people who still get made fun of 40 years later for peeing themselves in the 3rd grade.

The kids are going to be alright.

And I wonder why that is. I am sure it is a multitude of reasons, but I want to isolate one that sticks with me a bit. My son is much younger than I was at his age.

Much. Like by 3rd grade, I had basically seen softcore porn at this point. Sure a ton of that was from friends of mine who had parents that did not monitor their access to HBO and let them just run the fucking house, but I think the bigger thing is the fact that there is far more children’s media. Now they consume shit made for them all the fucking time.

I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but when I was a child, I just watched shit I was way to young for. I have mentioned before that Ghostbusters is the first movie I remember watching, but there is one movie in particular that I want to isolate on the liquor tonight.

Howard the Duck. I watched that unedited definitely before Kindergarten. And that movie has duck tits in it.

Of course that didnt register in my mind at the time. Maybe in the subconscious, but all of that to say, I was SIGNIFICANTLY older at my son’s age now than I was at his age. Thats for sure.

… I will say what I was obsessed with the most was the ending. Shooting the laser to block your way home. I connected with that.

Also that monster design is dope.

Alright, I’m not going to beat that. Hope everyone had a half way decent week out there in TV Land.

Stay safe. Stay stupid. Stay smellin good.


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