Thoughts from the AMEN Pew #1

Starting a new segment today. These are preachings I feel are important for the congregation but too short for a blog/too long for twitter. And all powered by the most holy of substances

Now, you may be saying to yourself, “So you are going to post your drunken twitter drafts up here?” To which I say, the refrain of my church, “Shut up.” #facts

And now, on with the intelligence. 

Pay your goddamn vendors. If you hae people working for you, make sure you damn well pay them. 

Like I know our fuckin president doesnt do it. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a big asshole about it.

Same shit if you as talent or a speaker or whatever is supposed to show up. Fuckin show up. Stuff is lined up. Other work is not getting done. Fuckin show up on time.

And if you dont, it is the opinion of the Church of the Holy Flava, that you are subject to whatever. And, I am also excited to report that people have become just as petty as me. And have struck back on stupid shit. You gunna end up with something like this. Which is awesome. 

Whatever happened to Ernest? Like people forgot about him. I mean sure, they made a pile of straight to VHS stuff in the late 90s that was abysmal. But I mean come on man. He provided alot of awesomness for many years. This is why I like Ernest Roulette. A modern chance with stupidity to look at Ernest stuff. Trust me, not all of it is pretty. But it is great. Check it out. 

Speaking of Jack Packard, I cannot express the degree to which I love Red Letter Media. They managed to do that rare thing of cutting through the bullshit spin of modern movies down to its essence. They are able to bring forward a primary essence of what a movie should be and why what they are watching isnt. And they dont do that fucking youtube thing of being high energy and yelling for no goddamn reason. Plus they a bunch of depressed drunks. I connect to this on an emotional level. This is, at least in the Right Reverend’s opinion, the best episode. 

Why people be eatin taco bell? That shit gives you the runs. 

Ok, that one was a twitter draft. This one isn’t. Why people be playin CSGO and shit. That shit is for the russian army. Look man, I dont need to be sweaty ever in my life. Im never going to be a pro gamer and shit. Remember when shit was fun? Remember when shit didnt matter. Remember when you were playing TMNT tournament fighters with your friends. Remember that shit? I member. Now you got to masterbate in a corner to furry porn to be the best and shit. WTF? Like when I play video games I want to escape the unfathomable depression of existence for 5 minutes. I dont need to be figuring out my build technique in Fortnite. Got damn. Read a book people. Your value as a person isnt determined by your League build order 

What was I saying?

Stop watching reality TV. I know you care about insert random white muscular dumbass and if they get with insert random white person trying to get with them. But that doesn’t mean I do. Dont fill my reality with your dumb shit. 

Unless you are trying escape the unfathomable depression of existence for 5 minutes. Then have at it. You do you. 

Oh yeah. This is the energy Im on. Im out bitches. Deal with it. I’m out. Douces. 

© Church of the Holy Flava 2016 - 2021