The Truth Is Not Out There

I had an odd experience a few weeks back. My wife was getting a podcast recommendation a few weeks back from a friend we have known for 20 years, who went to the same university as us and has a doctorate. She goes, “This podcast will radicalize you. We need to make you more radical.”

It was a podcast about weight loss fads and diets through time.

I flat out will never understand this. It’s not just podcast recommendations. The need to radicalize…the will to make everyone a fanatic about something is nauseating to me. Its everywhere and its about everything. It’s almost like the need to yell at randoms needs to be innate in your fiber to be at minimum palatable.

I would argue this is politic agnostic now. I would say this even includes like work, clothing, whatever. The need to think what you are doing is going to bring about a fundamental change in the world is an odd thing.

First off, built into the need to radicalize is the idea of a hidden truth. That if you just hear the right set of words strung into sentences that you will completely change who you are as a person. Change is a gradual process if it happens at all, and if it happens to you because of one podcast, youtube video, or (heaven forbid) a book, that is on you.

It’s like there are people everywhere now who feel like you are missing a hidden truth. Like its the last 5 min of a Neil Breen movie.

This is what you sound like.

I hate to break it to everyone out there. Jane’s Addiction was right. Nothing’s Shocking. You not going to find some secret fucking QAnon truth that people be funneling baby squeezins in secret tunnels across the country. And you not going to read some poly sci rant and all of a sudden collapse in a pile on the floor because of the overwhelming burden of capitalism.

Like yeah, political corruption and oppression sucks. That is all true. I am just trying to make it through this fucking life.

Isn’t that radical on its own? I managed to escape a world that fucking hated everything about me, and I have made it 20+ years on my own. Isn’t that radical?

Had a discussion recently with a friend of mine about music that was big for me in college. High on that list was The (International) Noise Conspiracy. A band that I feel like was made for these times.

A band that was all about radical. Talking big spirit of 68 energy. All about how everyone needs to get radical and shit. But there is one problem. They wrote one song on their first fucking album that totally took the wind out of their sails.

And they some how cut 4(!) more albums after this

I remember hearing it for the first time and being blown away. Because someone got it. You see, dear congregation, I grew up in a big time punk rock world. I wanted to be radicalized. I was actively seeking it.

T(I)NC was the first band that made it clear to me what was going on. It was an aesthetic. A look. Everyone is posing in one way or another.

I suppose on the internet they call this LARP’ing, but I think playing pretend is better. Cause its hatin more.

All of this feels like pretending toward a goal. And I am not out here to play pretend for anyone. I am out here to make it to tomorrow on my own power.

I close with this thought. Is being radical a sign or signifier to replace a type of social club? An interaction. Am I to get the back because I understand enough and am still indifferent?

I don’t know the answer to this question. I am just trying to survive and be left alone. I understand that choosing not to decide is making a choice, and the fact that I can make this decision for myself is a point of privilege. I get all that.

I just don’t fucking care. I don’t need to listen to a 1,000 hours of shitty material just to be more grumpy than I am when I get up in the morning…

I have always liked the Hippocratic oath. First do no harm. Thats all I want to do. No harm.

I feel like that in and of itself is radical somehow. I’ll keep doing that. You do you.


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