The! New! Plague! – #29 – Dose 1 Edition

Well, it happened. On Monday, I got my first dose of Pfizer’s brand of COVID-19 vaccine.

So in my state, I fall under a medical condition in the expanded list. I don’t want to talk specifics, but it is abundantly clear the list was made to include as many people as they possibly could.

I had started searching as soon as my category was added to the list. And I had no fucking luck.

Lets talk briefly about the vaccine hunt, especially for those that are coming next. It is a giant pain the ass.

You would hope there was one unified system. Oh no their fucking isn’t. When your hunt starts, I highly recommend vaccinefinder, cause that will at least tell you who has doses. But at the end of the day, you are going to have to do what I did. Register in a bunch of places.

I wont provide individual links cause each of these places has a different set of links by state (yep). To find out how to get your shit, go here, and it’ll link you up to your state’s site.

But if you are like me, you will end up registering separately with the following:

  • FEMA
  • State Department of Health
  • Your County’s Department of Health
  • Any grocery store that services your area (Safeway, Publix, HEB, Kroger, etc)
  • Any pharmacy that services your area (Walgreens, CVS, your local pharmacy, etc)
  • National big box chains that have a pharmacy (Walmart, etc. Technically targets are included in the CVS search)

They are all disconnected, they all have different vaccines, and they all have autonomy in how to distribute them.

For myself, my first pass through this ended up with a big goose egg. Then, I tried again every morning. All 8 sites. Nothing.

I know a few people who waited till midnight (some of the sites reset at midnight) and were able to get it quickly…I wasn’t going to do that. I also got an email one of those days that from the state department of health (they are running the big drive through centers), and they said they had shots available….250 miles away from my house. And I have a kid…that wasn’t going to happen.

Quick side bar: If you aren’t eligible yet, there is always the finesse play. I know a ton of people who bombed out to the most rural parts of their states, and hit pharmacies during the middle of the week looking for a shot. See, with the stability of the vaccine, if someone doesn’t show up for their appointment, that’s a wasted shot. Goes in the trash. Or if you are there. Goes in your arm.

If I didn’t have a kid and had infinite time, I would have probably tried something like this.

Last saturday morning I was drinking my coffee and read about Walgreens getting a ton of doses in, to the point where more stores became vaccination centers. So, on a lark, I checked….and they had it. At my local Walgreens, no less. Didn’t have to drive to fucking Mars. And I was able to register back to back for my wife too.

Now if you can get in, work quickly. Took me 2 times to check out before it cleared because the appointments were getting scooped up in that time. So, talk slow, move fast.

As far as the actual mechanics of getting the shot, it wasn’t bad at all. I had the forms filled out when I showed up. They asked for my insurance card. Bam. Thats it. Was in and out in around a half hour. No COVID police questioning you on why you are there. All that is handled in the online pre-screening. Just making sure you aren’t sick right now and then there you go.

The actual shot was about normal. And we are Friday around. No symptoms except a sore arm that went away after 2 days.

I hear the 2nd shot is the ass kicker. But, I’m not worried about that. I have never had any kind of reaction from a vaccine, so I’ll be interested to see if this is the exception that proves the rule.

With all these fucking states opening up, you may not even need to use any of these finesse plays. Plus, as cases start to go back up again, get your fucking shot today. ASAP. Now.

Join me in the sexy vaccinated crowd. Its a good look on you.

© Church of the Holy Flava 2016 - 2021