For all quality members of the Holy Flava congregation who appreciate a major dose of shame, there is a shit typhoon on the way. And it is going to be streamed live on the internet. I am of course talking about Blizzcon, Blizzard Entertainment’s sometimes annual sometimes semi-annual conference to jerk off the superfans of their games.
I expect to be a glorious event of stupidity and yelling. Why? Well lets recap the two major reasons.
1) What the fuck happened last year? I have discussed this a bit in a past post, but at last year’s Blizzcon, the company’s big announcement was a mobile version of one of their most popular games. Given the nature of the crowd in attendance, it did not go well. And as usual with anything on the internet, Blizzard’s lame ass response, and the internet’s natural tendency to blow everything way beyond reason has let a thousand memes through. For example
2) China Unless you are living under a fucking rock, you have probably seen Hong Kong is fucking on fire and shit, cause China is some fuckin assholes. And American companies have done everything in their power to shut down any mention of “not China” for fear of losing that giant pile of money. South Park also managed to be in the right time and place to shit on people about bending the knee to China.
So this is where we are now. What was already a make or break event for Blizzard’s fans is now an international eye event, with fans already planning protests and shit.
What is my prediction for this event?
Blizzard’s PR team have demonstrated time and time again that they flat out don’t know how to handle any issue that happens ever. Their handling of this whole Hearthstone thing demonstrates that. They didn’t have to publically announce shit; and could have handled it all internally with some stern talking to and back door discussion. Nope, they publically put that dude’s head on the guillotine, and so now you have a room full of neckbeard “I am Sparticus” clowns waiting to jump up at their chance to die on the cross in front of everyone.
Look, this should be an easy run for Blizzard. Announce a pile of new shit, and make it look better than everyone else’s shit. Even THAT is a bit too late now with Riot making every type of video game on planet earth now.
I actually think its possible to have this event and limit stupidity. You could Mea Culpa on this. Take responsibility, note the importance of players to be free. Let the internet get it out of their system, and you can apologize to China later.
But that probably isn’t what is going to happen. Blizzard will find some way to fuck it up guaranteed. I don’t think the WHOLE event is going to be mired by this, but I fully expect alot of fast cuts away from the audience.