Thoughts from the AMEN Pew #57

This week was…

So lets talk about it.

I saw something recently that was like anxiety is through the roof, and I’m like, of course man. Why wouldn’t it? It feels like humanity is circling the fucking drain.

And shit like this ain’t helping. The BIG MAN decided that the world needs to fucking end for his fucking failure of a fucking war.

I have no idea what happens when the first nuke (tactical or otherwise) gets launched….

All I know is that I hope i get the 30 min warning like in Hawaii.

Speaking of doom, I just had an argument that I lost, trying to prosthelytize the virtues of Randy Newman. Apparently, this is just lost to the world.

And for the record, I lost cause I have no energy for it. I have no desire anymore if I get shutdown immediately to engage. It just disconnects me further from humanity. Shit, maybe we need the bomb.

In an effort to feel more like being a part of humanity, I have really been enjoying Shudder’s take on the Bravo’s 101 Scariest Movie Moments.

If nothing else, it is amazing to see horror legends talk about the things that inspire them. Like Joe Dante talking about Black Sabbath.

Or this. Like this is enough to justify the existence of the show. If you are like me and resub to get some horror, you should check it out.

I want to give a big shout out to the Angry Video Game Nerd. Like I know things have been weak of late, but I want to shout out some free youtube horror.

That in and of itself may be a spoiler, but I HIGHLY recommend watching this playlist of videos. It’s a board game review series…thats really all you should know.

Oh, and it’s the best thing he ever made.

Like legit horror movies aren’t this good.

I want to acknowledge Ian.

Everyone is quick to forget every fucking hurricane. As if the next one isn’t around the corner. What Florida is going through is going to be all over the gulf coast and the atlantic coast. We need to get infrastructure going and prep going.

We won’t. So things will keep being sad, and tragedy will continue.

But Florida, I hear you. Wishing you good luck in your recovery.

And on that note. That’s all I have energy for today. Here’s hoping for a future. Not even a better future. Just that we continue.

That is all.

Q: The Winged Serpent – A Retrospective

Lets have a quick conversation about schlock. I always appreciate anytime a filmmaker is swinging for the fences. Doesn’t always have to be an arthouse jam. It can be the guise of any kind of 60s/70s churn trash that manages to have someone smart behind the lens.

And to me, that’s what I want in schlock. I don’t care if its one takeaway, like a single shot or line read. Sometimes the whole movie can be worth it for one scene a glory in a sea of violent, crazy stupidity.

Especially this time of year. I just decided to reactivate my sub to Shudder so I can get me a good dose of schlock, when suddenly…

Criterion, you fuck. I just gave shudder my money. While I am still trying to decide, I went ahead and looked at the list. Got some good shit on there like Near Dark or Society. Plus a few others I haven’t seen.

Among those, I was recommended this film by a motherfucker much more well versed in schlock. And luckily enough for me, its on prime right now.

So, I watched it.

What a delightful piece of trash. You know, I think this thing may be textbook schlock.

Lets take it in pieces, that monster looks like bad Harryhausen. The director does everything in his power to cut around it. You only really see it at the very end. The movie starts with like 3 kills all in a row (including one with classic unnecessary nudity). All of them are cut so fast you don’t really get to see what is killing these people.

So buried in this giant monster living in NYC killing people movie is a procedural in which David Carradine and Richard Roundtree try to figure out what is going on…AND a fucking heist movie in which Michael Moriarty completely botches the heist and spends the rest of the movie trying to redeem himself.

To me, I think those two sub plots is really what makes this movie. ESPECIALLY Michael Moriarty, who turns in a performance that is leaps and bounds above being in a giant fucking monster movie. I mean, it is almost worth watching the whole movie just to see that performance.

Also, the script is shockingly tight. A ton of horror movies tap dance to get to that 90 min runtime. This feels like the perfect length. Never overstays its welcome. Doesn’t drag it out.

The actual kill effects are much much better than the Harryhausen-style monster. They are fucking gross in the style of the time, and look relatively clean.

The ending is definitely lackluster and probably the weakest part of the entire enterprise. But again, it doesn’t linger. We move on and credits.

Overall, I am really glad I watched the thing. You kind of forget sometimes what its like when a single director writes a thing, shoots it, and its not a fucking franchise and its not dragged out over like 6 episodes.

3/4 – Looking for some schlock? Check out Q. If not just for Michael Moriarty’s performance.

Thoughts from the AMEN Pew #56

Another miserable week in the books. I’m starting to feel more like Charlie Brown. Just keep paying a visit to my friend misery.

Well, lets get into it.

Through a combination of 1) another family member in the hospital, 2) more stress at work, and 3) my son getting called to the principles office over a bathroom accident, I am having too much happen at the same time. Per usual.

I certainly don’t remember my childhood being this full of shit constantly. Maybe its the matter of being young. The times are always trying, so I am trying to keep that in prespective. But, it is tough at the moment.

This is a fucking good idea. Look, throw the seriousness of gaming out the window. There was a time for that, and that time is fucking gone.

They could have chosen that route. Made this years LCS EXTREME. No one wants that shit.

Good on Riot for figuring out the easy way to doing something awesome. In the dark times, people want fun. And this shit is fucking fun. Good on you.

So, I thought about doing a full review on this. But, it doesn’t deserve it.

I saw CBGB this week on a recommendation. Holy SHIT it fucking sucked. It was written by someone who has no interest in what NYC was like in the 70s. Directed by someone who thinks the highlight of directorial skill is Faust.

In this movie, our characters move from one Forrest Gump random history scenario to another. With no narrative arc. No flow.

We have no idea why this club was important other than you know these artists are important. There is no context, no setting. Its a boring 2 hour slog of a biopic.

If you want to see a punk music film done right, see 24 Hour Party People. Skip this trash. Its NOT GOOD.

I am not usually one for internet beef, but holy SHIT. If you would have told me this week Fantano and Drake were going to have beef. I would say you were lying.

I’ll let the fantano video below explain it, but APPARENTLY, Drake is too much of a little baby to take criticism from an internet music reviewer.

Dude is a billionaire. Sold out concerts. The fucking dream, but FANTANO is fucking living rent free in his head? Unreal.

I love it. I only hope it gets even more stupid.

I want to talk for a quick second about people getting salty about the Queen’s death being made fun of.

Get over it. Look. England stepped all over the world for the better part of a millennia. If everyone wants to shit on a death of a royal, more power to them. There are an infinite well of reasons to do it.

I especially want to shout out Ireland. Don’t change. Free Derry.

If this leads to a unified Ireland, I am all about it.

You know, I haven’t had the will to even make gifs. I dont think I have made a gif for a month and change. I am sure I will get the swift kick on this at some point.

For now, I am definitely back in survival mode. Making it through the day. See if that gets me through to Halloween.

At least the whisky is hittin now. So, pain is clearing. Shame is overwhelming.

Here’s hoping your week is better than mine. Take it easy, and be excellent to each other.

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